Lingerie
L: I don't know anything about lingerie Miss Teresa, except that I love it. Help!
: That's why I'm here Honey. Not sit down and pay attention.
First of all it doesn't last forever. Things get stretched out, worn, torn, and stained, and you'll have to replace them sooner or later. So lets start with the basics, shopping.
For now I'm going to suggest various items that you should consider owning. As for the details such as care, washing, storing, prices, and fit that's another column. Lets start with bras. You should plan on having at LEAST one of each of these:
Balconette, Bralette, Bust Enhancer, Bust Minimizer, Bustier/Corset, Contour, Convertible, Demi Cup, Front Closure, Full Cup, Full Figure, Molded/Seamless, Padded, Plunge, Push Up, Racerback, Seamed, Sport, and Strapless.
L: But Miss Teresa, I don't even know what they are for. Do I really need all of these?
: Do you want to do this right or keep wearing your sisters clothes? Now shut up and pay attention.
Next you'll buy panties. You need to have the right shape and style for all different occasions. You want to have at LEAST one of each of these:
Briefs, Boyshorts, Bikinis, French Knickers, Laser Cut/Seamless, Low Rise/Hip Huggers, Tap Pants,Thongs, and a G-String,
L: This is going to get very expensive isn't it?
: Nobody said you have to go out and buy everything at one time sweetheart, but once you start I have a feeling that like most women, you'll just want to buy more and more. Especially when you make friends with the girls at your local lingerie store.
Now at the risk of confusing you, I'm just going to mention a couple more things you want to get:
Babydolls, Short and Long Nightgowns, Peignoirs, Chinese Pajamas, Nightshirts, Kimono, Negligees, Teddy's, Full and Half Slips, Pantyhose, Garter Belts, Thigh Highs, Tights, and Stockings.
L: I realize you're trying to help me, but how will I learn all this, like what each thing is for, how to wear them, and which ones go with what outfit? I mean-I only have a couple of dresses, will you teach me?
: No, did you think I would?
L: I guess I'm just overwhelmed by all the choices. How will I learn then Miss Teresa?
: The same way you'd learn anything new, by research, asking friends, shopping around, and taking it slow. You know there are plenty of resources out there to help you right?
L: I think I need a book, can you recommend a good one?
: Sure, but you are going to eventually go out and buy things right?
L: Maybe.
: MAYBE-Are you fucking kidding me? Why did you even waste my time?
L: Yes, yes Miss Teresa I'll do it. Thank you.
: Sheesh, damn sissies!
This conversation actually took place. It may have been partly my fault for having 5 straight cups of coffee. I get a little manic sometimes.
