J: I want to go into a store and buy some lingerie for myself. I don’t want them to know its for me and would like to make this as simple as possible. I’ve tried before but I just get so embarrassed that I end up walking out. Do you have any suggestions?
: This is easy, and I want you to think of it as an adventure.
A high end store like Victoria’s Secret can be very intimidating for men, and you may want to work up to that. For your first purchase, I recommend going into any large supermarket and buy a pair or two of pantyhose. The size is right on the package and they are not expensive. Just bring it up to the checkout counter with your other items and pay for it. No one will ask or care, believe me.
Now that you’ve successfully done that, you can prepare for your first shopping trip, just for practice. Rather than going to a crowded mall, find a store that sells both men’s and women’s clothes. Burlington Coat factory is a perfect example. Target and Walmart are also good choices. Casually stroll into the lingerie section and begin browsing as you look for a sales assistant.
You act confused and frustrated (act?) and explain to her that you are looking for something to buy your girlfriend or wife. Pick a story and stick with it. You also want to have a name for her and a size in mind. You don’t need to know an exact size, but you also don’t want to say; “Uh-she’s the same size as me” when asked. Many things come in small, medium, and large so that makes it even easier. You can say something like; “She’s about the same height as me and 145 pounds,” or whatever you feel will work. The next thing you’ll probably be asked is what you are looking for. A nightgown, teddy, corset, or just something nice as a surprise gift. This is where you use your imagination. Here are 3 possibilities.
1. “I’d like to get her something sexy for her birthday. She always wears such boring lingerie and I want to spice things up.”
2. “I’m not sure really, I keep asking her to buy some sexier lingerie but she never gets around to it.”
3. “I’ve been trying to get her to wear something really sexy, and she said that if I go out and buy it she’ll be happy to wear it.”
By this time the salesgirl will most likely be smiling, and might even mention how nice it is for a man to be so thoughtful. Let her show you as many things as you like and ask questions. (If only you knew more about lingerie).
The next part, bringing a handful of panties and bras all the way up to the counter, then standing in line with the housewives, dock workers, and professional wrestlers, may be more than you’re ready for at this point. That’s why I suggested this as practice.
Now you can confidently walk into a Victoria’s Secret or similar store and pick out whatever you like. Then, as they tell you again how thoughtful and considerate you are, they will bring everything up to the counter for you. They thank you for shopping there and tell you to come again soon. Piece of cake.
Now go shop until you drop, and remember, no panties with cute little sayings on them!
Photo by limaoscarjuliet