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The Panty Thief-part 1 by Teresa Bowers

Teresa: Well, well, well, look what we have here.

Susan: Oh-My-God. He’s wearing your panties and babydoll Teresa! And look-he went through all of your things. He must have tried on everything in your dresser! And there’s lingerie all over the place! Let’s call the Police.

Teresa: Just a minute Susan, I think we should interrogate the suspect, isn’t that what they do on those cop shows?

Susan: Fuck that! We caught a panty thief and he has to go to jail. And we have to tell your neighbors. We have to tell everyone so this doesn’t happen again.

Teresa: But this panty thief is one of my neighbors, he lives right next door.

Susan: Oh My God you know this guy?

Teresa: I sure do, in fact he used to do some chores for me, but things got weird.

Susan: What do you mean, weird?

Teresa: Well, I caught him watching me once from his bathroom window, it was really creepy. I think he was masturbating.

Susan: I’m calling the Police right now. This is fucked up.

Teresa: Patience my dear, we have to help this poor misguided boy. We need to know why he broke into my house and dressed up in my clothes, don’t you think?

Susan: FUCK THAT! I’M GONNA BEAT THE HELL OUT OF HIM! SLAP-SLAP-SLAP-SLAP-SLAP-SLAP-SLAP….

Teresa: (Giggles) I think he likes that Susan. (Giggles) OK, OK that’s enough for now.

Susan: SLAP-SLAP-SLAP-SLAP-SLAP-SLAP-SLAP

Teresa: I really think that’s enough for now Susan, I want to ask our panty thief some questions.

Susan: SLAP-SLAP-SLAP-SLAP-SLAP-SLAP-SLAP….

Teresa: ENOUGH YOU ANIMAL! Now look what you’ve done, he’s starting to cry.

Susan: But Teresa, he broke into your house, and he’s wearing your panties. This is just crazy!

Teresa: He’s also wearing my brand new Victoria’s Secret babydoll, but that’s not the point. You really have so sense of adventure Susan. I’m definitely not going to just forget about this. Lets see, oh look-here’s his wallet. Oooooo-credit cards…

Susan: He broke into a house with his wallet on him? Oh you really are a loser panty boy!

Teresa: That’s not very nice Susan; he does have a name you know. It’s a boy’s name, which we will have to change. Let’s call him Princess.

Susan: You know Teresa, I’m sure you have a plan, but I really think this is a mistake.

Teresa: Watch and learn Susan. If this doesn’t work out you can always call the Police, we do have his drivers license. Here-you hold onto it. Come over here Princess. Come on. Sit right down at my computer with me. That’s a good girl. Are you comfortable sweetheart? Not really? Well, we’ll take care of you in a few minutes. Now, you did kind of make a mess out of my things. It looks like you’ve tried on most of my lingerie.

How would you feel about replacing some of it, do you think that’s fair? You do? Excellent. What we’re going to do is go shopping online. Look-I have Victoria’s Secret bookmarked. Now let’s see….oh here it is, E-gift cards. We can take care of this right now and forget all about it.

Here you go Princess, just fill it out with your name, email and credit card info.

Continued...